Renee's American Idol, Top 13 Review

Gab, where's your HIMYM review? Slacking, are we?

Before I begin, I should say - maybe I already said this. Oh well, I'll say it again - that I take part in an American Idol pool with two of my friends every year. We bet different things - last year the two losers had to buy the winner the first album of a contestant of their choice. The year before the loser had to put a sign up on her locker saying how lame she was and how awesome the winner was.

NOT TO BRAG ANYTHING, but I've won the last two years we did it. I had BOTH Davids last year, there was no way I could have been defeated.

We do it by points, so even if you don't have the winner, you could still win if your people all did really well. I had first pick, and then fourth, seventh and tenth. The leftover is Jorge. No one likes him.

I have Adam, Allison, Kris and Michael. Let's hope they go far.

So - on to last night! First up was Lil Rounds. She's good but OMG what was she wearing? it took so much away from her performance, which was a little boring.

Then we had the blind guy, Scott. It would be uncouth to say anything bad about a blind guy, so all I'll say is that he's nice but boring and I hope he doesn't stick around too long.

Michael was next, I'm pretty sure. He's good and likable. I really can't guess how far he'll go but hopefully quite a ways, because I have him in the pool and I'm gonna win again this year, damnit! I liked Simon's joke about not knowing what Michael's job was. Simon's the only job that knows what the hell he's talking about.

Was Danny next? Danny was pretty good, pretty comfortable on stage. I really like him. I was glad they didn't talk about his wife dying again. They should let people like him for him and not because they feel bad for him. Danny' definitely one of my favourites this year.

Then it was Jasmine (?) I don't totally remember the order. Jasmine is boring, but fine.

Then it was Kris. Jesus, he's good looking. WHAT, that's not why I picked him, how dare you? Anyways, he was alright. He pronounced the word "remember" funny, like "remembah" but other than that he was fine.

I don't really remember the order, as I said, but I think Allison was somewhere in here. She's so weird. I haven't decided if it's good weird or bad weird yet. I mean, I don't think anyone has ever made a joke about cutting themselves on American Idol before. But whatever the case, she's a fantastic singer and I liked her rocker vibe.

Jorge is so boring. That's why no one picked him.

Megan was somewhere around here. I love her, I think she's so cute and such a good singer. They were a little harsh to her, I mean COME ON NOW, it was freakin' Michael Jackson week, how many good songs were there to be chosen (sorry, MJ). I like Megan, I hope she sticks around.

Maybe Anoop was next? I thought he was better than they gave him credit for, but still not that great, and once he started talking I was like "Geez, this guy's a cocky bastard." So I hope he's out.

Adam was somewhere around here. I loved his performance, NATURALLY. He's so comfortable on stage. A little bit over the top but whatever. SOME people (cough my mother cough) say he screams too much but whatever. If you can do it, why not? He's definitely the best singer on the show regardless, and no one can possibly dispute that. Hopefully he's just popular enough to go on, but why wouldn't he be? He wears plaid, for God's sake! He's got my vote.

I know Matt was after Adam because they were like "Oh, poor Matt, it's hard to follow Adam, meat...potatoes..." or something. Matt's okay. I've never liked him as much as I did in Hollywood Week but we'll see.

Alexis was last. She was great! I love her voice! They were mean to her. Simon's all like "That wasn't as good as you think it was," which was so assholey of him, because she's obviously the least cocky person ever. God Simon. GOD.

So that's everyone I hope. I think it will (should) be Anoop and Jorge. I would be okay with Jasmine or Scott, though. We'll see, I guess.

What a productive use of my spare.

Renee Out.

Renee's Super truncated American Idol Review: Top 36, Part 2

More of a compendium, if you will. (That's right, I like big words, and I use them right about fifty percent of the time too.)

I had to watch last night's episode on skim, so I missed some stuff (though nothing that looked important). No NPH sightings, which makes me think that his favourite was probably in the first group. Most likely Danny.

So the ones that I liked a lot last night were Adam (OBVIOUSLY), Allison and Megan. I thought Adam's was good, though not his best, and that it will be a crime if he doesn't go through, except he obviously will. megan's dancing was hugely awkward but her singing was good. Allison's talking was hugely awkward but her singing was good.

Everyone else was pretty boring. No one was especially BAD, but no one blew me away. That Jeanine (?) girl was probably the worst, then crazy hair. I was disappointed with haired Matt's performance, because I LOVED him in HW (that's short for Hollywood Week; I know the slang, bitches!) Mishavonna was pretty good but she could never win, so why put her through?

So that's basically it. IMO the ones that proceed should be Adam, Allison and Megan.

Renee Out.

American Idol Recap: Season 8, Top 36 Performances Part 1

Steel yourself Gabby. This is going to be the longest blog entry in the history of WViE. I suggest you at least skim it, however, because Neil Patrick Harris will be mentioned more than once. You'll see why.

So tonight the first twelve of the top thirty-six performed. I'm going to review them individually, but first let me say that the quality of the show tonight SUCKED. The camera kept pointing at the wrong place, especially during the super awkward interviews with family members (when did they start that? It needs to go) Also, instead of playing Brent keith's video they just showed a frozen picture of Stevie. This sitation proved to us that Ryan Seacrest is crap at vamping.

Also. Randy seems to be trying to mix it up this year. Lots of new, strange catchphrases. There was also a lot of Simon metaphoriacally bitchslapping Paula, which is always appreciated.

So up first was Jackie Tohn (I actually made notes Gab, aren't I a nerd?) She sang "A Little Less Conversation." What was interesting her performance was that she'd somehow gotten ahold of the EXACT pants that Oliva Newton-John wore at the end of Grease. I love Jackie. She's in my top three to move forward next week, and her stage present is killer.

Next was Ricky Braddy (aka Ricky Bobby because, well, I'm hilarious) I'd never heard of this guy but I was mighty impressed. He's got a good voice, though he's a little on the boring side. And his velvet suit was just...bad.

Then we had Alexis. She was really good too, I want either her or Ricky Bobby to get the third spot next week.

I guess at this point the producers realized that too many people were doing well so they had to sabotage the next few contestants. Following Alexis was Brent, who sang a really dull, strange country song called "Hick Town." Doesn't he know that no one likes country? He was all like "Country fans will appreciate that song." Yeah, all three of them, two being his parents.

After Brent came the atrocity we call Stevie and OH MY GOD was she terrible. I guess that's what you get for saying on camera that your favourite band is the Jonas Brothers. her performance was seriously the worst ever AI performance, with the exception of perhaps Casey Carlson - but more on that later.

And it was here, Gab, at the end of Stevie's performance that I saw, while clutching my bleeding ears, none other than Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka in the audience (sitting next to Ted Danson of all people.) Neil was nodding all diplomatically but David was grimacing at how horrible her performance was and it was HILARIOUS. His hair and cardigan were looking pretty fine. He was actually the hotter of the two tonight.

Next up was Anoop (what's that Randy, you call him Anoop Dogg? You DEFINITELY haven't overused that one.) He's good but his performance was boring. Whatever, by this point I was pretty distracted by NPH.

By the way, it's getting pretty annoying how EVERY season they say how it's "the most talent yet." It's so untrue, and if it hadn't been proven to you already, it definitely was after Casey Carlson's performance. She sang "Every little thing HE does is magic" and it was VERY VERY bad. If she gets through simply because she's good looking (and she's not even THAT good-looking) I will shoot somebody's face. Hers, preferably, or every male American (except Neil!) She was really playing up the sexy, but everyone knows that never works, as it's almost all women voting. She's gone, I think.

Then there was Michael, the oil guy. He's a good singer but his song was boring and he has no stage present and I'm pretty sure that he too is out.

Ann Marie was next, and I thought she did a lot better than they gave her credit for. When you hold her up to the last two girls, anyways. She's got a good voice. I'm sick of the judges always comparing the female contestants to the people whose songs they sing. OBVIOUSLY she's not going to sound like Aretha Franklin, but she still did a good job. You basically just can't sing any Whitney, Aretha or Celine (yech) songs on that show or they'll compare you and then you'll lose. I guess I'm talking in second person now, hmmm.

So then there was Stephen, the most boring human being ever. I didn't think anyone could make MJ boring but ho, he succeeded! I guess I'm still mad at him for forgetting my David's lyrics.

Second to last was Tatiana. This was the one that everybody wanted to see, which I'm sure she knew. Everyone seemed a little weirded out by her surprising normalcy. She still bugs the hell out of me. I don't know, she's undeniably a good singer, but I hope she doesn't go on further. I doubt she will, now that she's not being entertaining. She should've stuck with the crazy.

Side note: I did LOVE it when she was talking about how she wanted to "market" herself. Cough *prostitute* cough.

Finally it was Danny Gokey, by the far the favourite going into the night. He did a very good, yet slightly cheesy, rendition of "Hero" by Mariah Carey. I sort of agree with Simon about him; he's really good, but not as orgasm inducing as the other judges describe him as. I've gotten to the point where I usually just fastforward the first three judge's comments.

ALSO, how inappropriate was it when Ryan kept asking Simon if he had this organ called a heart when he had his arm around Danny? Dude, his wife died of heart failure! How untactful can you be? First he tries to high five blind guys, and now this? He needs to be replaced.

So my pics for moving through are Danny, Jackie and Alexis or Ricky. It was pretty entertaining, at least. "Most talent yet", lie.

BTW I wish I could discourse this episode with someone amazing like, oh I don't know, Neil Patrick Harris because my blogging partner doesn't even WATCH the show (shame on you, Gabriela)

I am stoked for Adam! Hopefully he's next week.

Renee Out.