Monday, July 27, 2009

Renee's predicament

Told entirely in third person.

So today Renee woke up and decided to feng shui her room since no one wanted to hang out with her (fingers pointing at you Gab). She sprung out of bed and took everything out if it's place before realizing that cleaning her room was not, in fact, what she had wanted to do all along, but that it was actually to go make herself a chicken and mayo sandwich. She vacated her room, leaving her bed piled high with three feet of junk that had been stored in the dark corners of her room.

Well! This landed her in a quite a predicament, as the title suggests. She is now officially bedless, since for some obscure reason her parents who worked all day and her Grandmother at the spry age of 87 do not feel like vacating their beds for one short night. How dare they.

So now she has a number of choices. Admittedly, this is not the first time this has happened. Her teachers said her attention span would improve over time. Her teachers were wrong.

Last time Renee bunked in the bathtub with very unsuccessful results, the worst of which was a strange sound made by her neck whenever she turned her head to the left for the next week or so. She is currently still deciding, but she is leaning towards setting up camp underneath the dining room table, because it gives her natural shelter and muffles the sound of those insane people who rise and shine at seven in the morning.

She's off to find some blankets to fashion her measly fort. Don't feel bad for her or anything. (Please do)

Renee Out.

P.S. Why is it that Kevin Bacon is so good at playing mental cases? And why is it that Renee chose this, of all nights, to watch a highly disturbing movie about Kevin Bacon becoming invisible and raping/murdering people, including my beloved Grunny? (Murder only with that one.) Poor Grunny. No tearing it up in that movie. His bloddy carcass reminds Renee of his sad fate on Lost - and on that note, she's off the sleep in the empty, creaking dining room.

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